I haven’t posted on here in quite a long while. I feel like life took me by surprise and dragged me for months. But I’m here now, and lately I’ve felt the need to blog. To write in this blog and converse with others. I recently got laid off from my job due to lack of work. There are so many things wrong with the U.S. economy, but this isn’t the blog for that kind of talk.
I’ve fallen into a hole and I seem to not be able to climb out of it. I used to be completely optimistic and cheery. Lately things have changed and I’m quite the opposite. I stopped practicing yoga, meditating, working out, eating the way I should be and I’ve started being lazy and doing things that do not make me happy for fulfilled. It was a downward spiral and I needed to tighten my grip on reality.
I realize that no one is going to change anything for me. It’s entirely up to myself to change the negative thoughts to positive and to go out and practice kindness and happiness everywhere I go. I can’t lay down on my bed anymore and wait for something good to happen. Good things are happening all around and I haven’t opened my eyes to see them. If you want to see good in the world, like really concentrate on the good in people, you will see it. The same goes for the bad in the world. The bad is easier to see because the world is becoming more cynical and selfish.
I’m really motivated about spreading kindness and happiness. I want to show others that there is a reason to be positive even when there are a thousand negative issues going on. That there are kind people out there even if they can’t seem to find them. That just because you’ve hit a major setback in your life, it doesn’t mean it’s the end or even near the end. I want to spread good in the world.
I’ve realized we do so much for every person in our lives except for the only one who deserves it most — ourselves. To an extent, we look to others for the go-ahead in life. “What will this person think if I do this? Will he/she disapprove? How can I please this person — along with every other person out there?” I feel like nothing we do is for ourselves anymore. I’ve had these thoughts for quite a while. And maybe it’s because I’m in between jobs at the moment, but now more than ever I’ve felt judged on every damn thing in my life. And I mean everything. I won’t lie, I’m a people-pleaser. Others’ happiness comes before mine does. It has it’s advantages and disadvantages of course. Lately it’s becoming a disadvantage. Say you’ve been thinking about applying for a certain job that doesn’t seem like your type. What’s honestly so wrong with stepping out of your comfort zone and trying something new? Is it really appropriate of people to judge by giving you a negative remark or a dirty look? When did your life become theirs? Lately I’ve been feeling binned together — figuratively, of course. Held back, trying to please others, getting by without causing a chaotic storm by getting “into it” with others. I feel like I’m in a rut and needing to do something about my life. Relocation, new surroundings, I’m not sure. Or maybe if people were better at paying attention to their own lives instead of judging you for yours, I wouldn’t have the need to rant on about this. Who cares if you don’t like a decision someone else is making. It’s laid all out there for you: it’s THEIR decision, not yours. Deal with it and move on. We all have hurdles to jump through in our own lives anyway.
Here’s an article that I read earlier today that sparked me into venting about this:
15 Things You Don’t Owe Anyone At All (Though You Think You Do)
Spring is in the air! It’s such a lovely season.
So many beautiful flowers blooming.
It’s been quite a while since I’ve posted on my blog. I’ve been buried deep into photography lately because I want to turn it into a business in the near future. I’d appreciate you liking/sharing my Facebook page to help me get started!
And if you’re in the Chicagoland area, I’m still building up my portfolio, so I’m open to shooting for free.
I’ve always felt like I didn’t belong — never fit in while growing up. I still feel like I’m supposed to be a certain person to every person. It’s like everyone excepts something different out of you. But through the years of disappointment and always trying to be like they want you to be, I’ve learned that there really is nothing wrong with you. So lift yourself up and free yourself from the doubts.
It just depends on how you look at things.